Practice Test

I went and took a practice MCAT this morning. I find it amazing how your thoughts can go back and forth while doing something like that. By "back and forth" I mean I sat there thinking such things as "Why am I doing this to myself and my family," "This is not to bad," "I remember all the time I felt lead to this," "Everyone in the room is breezing through this except me," "I will never do good on this test," "This test has nothing to do with actual medicine," "How will I ever get into school if I can't do well on this test," "I really need to take the preparation class but don't have the money to do it," "What if I don't ever get in," "What if I do get in"

Yes it is not just about concentrating on the test it is about a lot more, at least for me anyway.

Pearls and Swine

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

A quick reading of this verse does not reveal the depth of its meaning. A study of the “Sermon on the Mount” can reveal a Jesus who is often surprising and dare I say it but a bit confusing. The same man who is so often quoted as saying “Do not judge,” “Pray for your enemies,” and “deny yourself” is found here telling us that some people are dogs or swine, that some efforts will eventually destroy what we hope to accomplish.

The swine or pig is an unclean animal in all aspects of the Jewish culture. They were not allowed to eat such a filthy animal. Is Jesus comparing some people or pursuits to swine?

I believe there are several aspects to this verse. The first thing is what is our “pearls.” I think it would have to be the very best we have. This could mean our time, our energy, our love, our attention. Whatever our pearl is it is surely precious to us. I believe Jesus is commanding us to be a good steward of this treasure.

I believe this verse is also showing us that some things are not worth the effort we give them. We are throwing our pearls into something, be that a person, a hobby, a lifestyle, a way of thinking, which is only going to turn and trample us. This trampling will undoubtedly leave us dejected and depressed.

How does this verse become incorporated into our lives? First I believe we need to know what our pearl is. We must take an accounting of our lives and determine what God has gifted us with. What do we owe our fellow humans and the kingdom, (I say this because in all reality we can not give God anything He does not already have.) Secondly we must determine if we are giving these “pearls” to worthy causes. Are the causes going to turn on us and trample all we have done and put effort into. I know this goes against some of the well ingrained practices but we may need to judge some of the people we interact with. Are they going to use the efforts you are putting into them for growth? Are your daily actives building up your life and relationships or are we pouring our efforts and pearls into meaningless pursuits?

I have not always been good at this. I confess I have “thrown my pearls” before some swine. And the words of Jesus have always rang true, they do turn and trample you.

It would not be in the spirit of the “Sermon on the Mount” if we did not turn this verse around on ourselves. By this I mean, are we being swine to someone else? Is someone throwing their pearls before us, only to watch them get trampled and abused. I know there have been a great number of people who have given me their best and I need to make sure I am not trampling their efforts. I need to be attentive enough to know when someone is throwing their “pearls” before me and what am I doing with them.

Pondering the Past

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past. "Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.

These are a couple of verses I have committed to memory several years ago. The reason I am bringing it up now I am having trouble actually doing it. The past few weeks, after finishing the MCAT and being held up with moving (our builder is not on the same page as we are) my mind has wondered back several years. It has went back to my years in Texas.

I guess I should start out telling about those years. I went off to Texas to attend seminary. I really felt it was God’s will and I was doing the right thing. I have to say those were the worst years of my life. It seems like nothing worked out and everything ended up working against me. I have to say as a result of being there my faith was more than just tested, it was almost destroyed. It is sad to say that considering I was engulfed with Christian study and surrounded by Christians. But alas this is what happened.

I have racked my mind and heart trying to find the good in those years. The one thing which stand out as being “good” were the friends I made. These people I consider “real friends.” They were there for me and will always have a positive impact on who I am. I am proud to consider Kevin, Michael, Courtney, Ben, Cheryl, Roxanne, Bill, and the Rondons friends. As a result of being in Texas I did get the opportunity to go on several mission trips, which are also fond memories.

I am also so very glad I left when I did. There are things I would not have missed in Tennessee for the world. The most important of which are meeting and marrying the greatest woman ever!!!. She really is amazing, her faith far exceeds mine, she is often the kick in the pants I need. I am truly amazed every time I see her that God made her for me. Also of importance is spending time with my family. If I had missed those years with my dad I would never have forgiven myself. There are a million more things I have gotten to do since being home that I would never have done otherwise, like working at HGBC, finding my calling to (hopefully) get into medical school, etc.

I must admit things have turned out much better here than I would have ever imagined or dreamed. But I am still left with this strange feeling that those three and half years of my life (other than the friends mentioned above) were a colossal waste of time.

I do not know why all of these memories are coming up now, maybe God is going to bring some closure to all this or maybe it is just a phase but I thought I would share.

Depth of Prayer

I was examining my own prayer life and I came to a sad conclusion. I spend to much time talking and not enough time listening. I believe the requests and petitions are needed but what about the listening?

Listening is something we all do; we listen to our bosses, our spouses, our TVs etc. But I know I do not listen enough. I understand we listen to God primarily through His word, and our answers come from His word. There is a but here. The but is that I do not quite myself long enough to see what the quite voice is saying.

How does this change? Is it that I spend more time, more effort, more reflection?

There is also a point that applies to some of us. We do not want to hear the answers. We pray and then we go about making things happen the way we want. Is this truly prayer or is it something we do to say we did it?

I know I find myself in both categories, not spending the time and sometimes not wanting to hear the answers, sad but true.

Ordination

I want to announce how proud I am of Leigh. She was ordained tonight. Our church recognized her call to the ministry and this is just an added confirmation of all she does.

She is currently the singles and women's minister at Celebration Church.

I am so glad her mom and dad got to come in for this event.

1st Blog

Hey I have jumped on the bandwagon and started this blog. It may turn out to be nothing but probably it will be just what I am thinking about that day (which can often get strange) Anyways I hope you keep up.