Monday, September 3, 2007

Pondering the Past

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past. "Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.

These are a couple of verses I have committed to memory several years ago. The reason I am bringing it up now I am having trouble actually doing it. The past few weeks, after finishing the MCAT and being held up with moving (our builder is not on the same page as we are) my mind has wondered back several years. It has went back to my years in Texas.

I guess I should start out telling about those years. I went off to Texas to attend seminary. I really felt it was God’s will and I was doing the right thing. I have to say those were the worst years of my life. It seems like nothing worked out and everything ended up working against me. I have to say as a result of being there my faith was more than just tested, it was almost destroyed. It is sad to say that considering I was engulfed with Christian study and surrounded by Christians. But alas this is what happened.

I have racked my mind and heart trying to find the good in those years. The one thing which stand out as being “good” were the friends I made. These people I consider “real friends.” They were there for me and will always have a positive impact on who I am. I am proud to consider Kevin, Michael, Courtney, Ben, Cheryl, Roxanne, Bill, and the Rondons friends. As a result of being in Texas I did get the opportunity to go on several mission trips, which are also fond memories.

I am also so very glad I left when I did. There are things I would not have missed in Tennessee for the world. The most important of which are meeting and marrying the greatest woman ever!!!. She really is amazing, her faith far exceeds mine, she is often the kick in the pants I need. I am truly amazed every time I see her that God made her for me. Also of importance is spending time with my family. If I had missed those years with my dad I would never have forgiven myself. There are a million more things I have gotten to do since being home that I would never have done otherwise, like working at HGBC, finding my calling to (hopefully) get into medical school, etc.

I must admit things have turned out much better here than I would have ever imagined or dreamed. But I am still left with this strange feeling that those three and half years of my life (other than the friends mentioned above) were a colossal waste of time.

I do not know why all of these memories are coming up now, maybe God is going to bring some closure to all this or maybe it is just a phase but I thought I would share.

4 comments:

ben angus davis said...

first, i consider you a true friend as well. probably my best memories from the soutwestern days involved one jamie t. sexton. missy and i often think fondly of you.

but, medical school? ok, you have to tell the story of how you got there...it is exciting!

Unknown said...

hey jamie:) it's been a long time!! i'm sorry that seminary was so bad for you but i just have to tell you this. you may not remember it, but right before we went to cape town on our mission trip, we had a conversation. you asked me "what's wrong with you?" because i had been pretty much a butthole to everyone cuz i was dealing with what God wanted me to do. so i shared all that was going on and you said - "have you thought about ISC?" and until that point, i hadn't. God used that conversation to impact and change my life. i guess i have never taken the opportunity to say thanks for being one of those people who speak truth. so thanks for being you and i'm sorry i haven't told you that till now - like 7 1/2 years later!!

hope all is well. enjoy yoru day!

Cynthia White

Unknown said...

ok - i just posted this whole long comment and it's gone! what a bummer!! it was very sentimental and heartfelt. let's see if i can get that back. it was something like....i'm sorry that your time in seminary was less than desirable - but there is something that i need to tell you and i probably should have long ago. in the summer before we went to cape town on our mission trip - i had been in a pretty rotten mood because of all i was dealing with on the inside - what the Holy Spirit was saying to me. so you said - "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??!!" and i told you all that was going on - and you said "have you ever thought of ISC?" and until that point, i never had. that was a turning point in my life and God used you to open my eyes to that. so thanks for being His instrument and sorry i never told you before. thanks for not being scared to say what you think:) hope you are doing well and good luck with med school:)

cynthia white

J Sexton said...

Cynthia,

if you are still out there e-mail and tell me what you are doing.

jtsexton10@hotmail.com